What Did Bollywood Teach Us About Love?

Many of us grew up consuming Bollywood films and television serials where love was portrayed through dramatic pursuit, sacrifice, jealousy, separation and reunion.

A familiar storyline went something like:

“I want this person in my life, and perhaps if I keep trying, they will eventually realise how much I care.”

Sometimes, that persistence eventually led to a “happy ending.” In other stories, rejection was portrayed as a devastating betrayal, with anger, revenge or retaliation becoming part of the narrative.

Films and serials such as Pyaar Tune Kya Kiya, Darr, Anjaam, Tere Naam, Raanjhanaa, Rehnaa Hai Terre Dil Mein, Kitani Mohabbat Hai and Kahiin To Hoga, among many others, offer interesting examples to examine—not because they all communicate the same message, but because popular media repeatedly exposes us to particular relationship scripts.

And media does more than entertain.

During adolescence and young adulthood, our understanding of identity, relationships, attachment and social behaviour is still developing. Repeated narratives can become part of the schemas through which we make sense of relationships.

When jealousy is repeatedly associated with passion, persistence with devotion, suffering with love, or dramatic reconciliation with a happy ending, these associations can become familiar—even when real relationships are far more complex.

This doesn't mean a film or television serial causes someone's behaviour. Family environment, education, peer relationships, attachment experiences, personality and broader culture all contribute to how we understand relationships.

But media is one of the many places from which we learn what relationships are supposed to look like.

And for those of us who grew up with little formal education about consent, boundaries, emotional regulation, attachment and healthy relationships, entertainment may sometimes have been one of our loudest teachers.

Perhaps that is why some of us entered adulthood knowing plenty about romance—but surprisingly little about relationships.